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amelia_petkovaI had to do it! I regret nothing.
Title: The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth
Fandoms: Bloody Jack, Labyrinth
Summary: Five times Jacky and Jaimy didn’t get married, and one time they did.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters from Bloody Jack; if I did, Jacky and Jaimy would be married by now.
One
It’s finally happening: Jaimy and I are finally getting married. It certainly took long enough. But it was worth all the trouble to be standing here with Jaimy’s hand in mine, surrounded by all of our friends and family. (Except for Jaimy’s mother—he had refused to let her in the church, convinced she would somehow ruin things. Can’t say I blame him.) Even Amy left her beloved Boston and traveled across the Atlantic to be here. Thank you, sister.
Grandfather is officiating and I’ve never seen such a great smile on his face. I think part of it is relief that I’m participating in a respectable ceremony for once.
As I stand here and look at Jaimy, I’m starting to become anxious for the ceremony to end. Hey Jaimy, I once thought we should strip me and play “count the scars” after we were married. Think that still sounds like fun? I know you have a few scars of your own by now, too.
We’re getting near the end now. Grandfather says, “If any man knows of a reason why this union should not take place, speak now or forever hold your peace.”
At these words, there is a shuffling of feet and a rising commotion among the guests. When I turn around I see:
Randall Trevelyne, Joseph Jared, Robin Raeburne, Jean-Paul de Valdon, Flaco Jimenez, Richard Allen, and Cheng Shih all standing in a row.
“We object!”
Oh…my…God.
Two
Jaimy isn’t here. I’ve been waiting in the church for over an hour but he still hasn’t arrived. Where could he be? I know I’ve jumped to conclusions about Jaimy’s feelings and actions in the past, but now I am completely certain that he would never abandon me.
I’m about to leave the church and search every inch of London for him myself when a messenger hardly more than a boy enters and doffs his hat. He looks nervous as the eyes of everyone present turn upon him. “Pardon, miss. A gent said this was for you.”
He hands me a sheet of expensive-looking paper that is elaborately folded. I break open the wax seal and read.
Dear Bloody Jack,
So sorry to ruin your wedding day but I have your Mr. Fletcher in my possession and there are certain conditions that must be met. He shall meet with certain doom unless you bring three thousand pounds, a sword, and a rooster to the Tower of London by midnight tonight. You will receive further instructions upon arrival.
Your devoted servant, etc.
The Blue Bandit
What the hell? The ransom demand is written with bright blue ink in the most flowery penmanship I have ever seen. And considering my time spent at the Lawson Peabody, that’s saying something. I mentally run through the long list of people who want to wring my scrawny neck but I can’t think of anybody called the “Blue Bandit.” He doesn’t sound familiar from any of the recent broadsides, either.
The demands are so ridiculous! I can understand needing a weapon and money, but why in the world desire a rooster? It could be a trap. Still, this person has threatened Jaimy’s safety.
I feel for the shiv in my sleeve and raise my voice. “Higgins! We have a groom to rescue!”
Three
Jacky Faber
Goblin City
The Castle at the Center of the Labyrinth
1 April 1810
Dear Jaimy,
It grieves me to say that I will not be able to attend our wedding today. As much as I regret this news, please know that it is not my fault this time.
I know you will be inclined to lay this interference at the feet of the Intelligence Service and I do not blame you, for were our positions reversed I would think the same. They have certainly been bothersome in the past. However, I must inform you that the circumstances are far stranger.
I was on my own for a brief time while preparing for the ceremony. Oh Jaimy, I was so happy. I foolishly thought our troubles were over and I was making plans for the future as I readied my dress. There was a knock at the door and I answered it, expecting Mairead. But it was your mother.
Jaimy, she was steaming mad. I was surprised not to see all her hair standing on end like a cat that has just had a pitcher of water dumped over it. I told her to be gone and started to shut the door in her face. Before I succeeded however, she shouted something about wishes and goblins and I don’t know what else. The next thing I knew my room had vanished or rather, I appear to have vanished from my room.
As unlikely as it seems, your mother appears to have learned some sort of spell. I am currently trapped in a castle located in the middle of some sort of labyrinth, with a very strange person who calls himself the Goblin King.
I have been permitted to write this letter to you, although the Goblin King is peering over my shoulder and making all sorts of insulting remarks the whole time. If you would have the goodness to come for me Jaimy, I would be forever grateful. You will be transported to the labyrinth upon finishing this letter. Once there, you will have to make your way through the maze to the castle at its center. If you do that we will be permitted to leave. One final detail: if you do not accomplish this task within thirteen hours I will be turned into a small, smelly creature called a goblin. And as much as you love me, I do not think you would be willing to marry a goblin.
All my love and hopes,
Jacky
Four
Jaimy and I are racing side-by-side on horseback. How I wish we were aboard my beloved Lorelai Lee, or even the Morning Star. Nobody can catch Jacky Faber on water. On land, it’s a slightly different story.
“Why does this sort of thing always have to happen?” Jaimy asks as the horses pound along. I’m not sure whether he’s complaining to God or myself. After a moment, he continues talking. “Did you really have to set that church on fire?” That answers that question: he’s complaining to me.
“I didn’t do it on purpose!” The veil pinned to my hair slips and I barely avoid tangling it in the reins. Over the sound of our horses’ hooves, I can hear other riders in the distance. They won’t catch us if I have anything to say about it.
“As far as I have been able to tell, you never ‘do it’ on purpose.”
Jaimy and I had been traveling to Boston and stopped for refreshment in a town that, although nicer than the ones we had seen on our frontier journey, was still somewhat small. We had been talking about getting married as soon as we reached Boston and, well, we saw a church when we left the tavern. The reverend was standing outside, sweeping the front steps. I looked at Jaimy, he looked at me, and that was that.
The church was made of wood. Just before the reverend could finish the ceremony, I tripped on the hem of my dress. A brace of lit candles stood next to me, and that was that.
I sighed. “Just keep riding.”
Five
“What happened?” I asked.
“The colonies happened,” Jaimy says sourly. “I still can’t figure out why but every single time I come to this godforsaken country, something horrible happens.”
I start to lean against the wall, then remember what I’m wearing and stand upright. Can’t get my nice wedding dress dirty, after all. I would never hear the end of it from both Higgins and Mistress. “It’s not that bad a place.”
“The first time we were here, we were separated and you were put into that school against both our will.”
“True,” I agree, “but that worked out all right in the end.”
“The next time, I was signed onto a war ship, once more against my will, after you had been arrested.”
“And I’m really sorry about that Jaimy, but—“
“After which I was robbed, beaten, left for dead, in the company of Mike Fink for an extended amount of time, sentenced to forced labor in a quarry, and that’s before I even reached the damned Mississippi!”
“Very well, you hate America,” I say. “But we’ve had some good times and we don’t have to live here permanently.”
One of his eyebrows twitches. “Just get me out of here.”
Poor Jaimy. I reach through the bars and squeeze his hand. “Try to behave while I see Ezra about a bribe. If we’re very lucky, the reverend might still be waiting when you get out.”
I’m pondering whether I could simply bring the reverend to the jail and get Jaimy out later, when a familiar voice says, “Get in there, you bunch of hussies!” and a number of brightly dressed women are forced into the room. Mrs. Bodeen must still be in business. I’d recognize her girls anywhere.
“Get in there, the lot of you!” Constable Wiggins shouts and starts herding them towards the cell Jaimy currently occupies. His eyes go wide. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, but nothing comes out.
“I know, I know, I’m off to get the bribe,” I say and give him a final peck on the cheek. I’m almost at the door when I hear one of the women say, “And who’s this handsome gent?” followed by a strangled noise from my long-suffering fiancé.
Sorry, Jaimy.
And one time they did
We are stuck in the middle of the Atlantic. The seas are becalmed and the ship does not move. I pace the deck impatiently. If I could, I would make the sails fill so that we could arrive in London and go to the nearest church, where Jaimy and I could finally be married.
Several months had passed calmly. It seemed as though the days of people trying to kill us, imprison us, send us on espionage missions (all right, that last one never happened to Jaimy) were over. So we assembled the crew (having some trouble dragging Davy away from my great good friend Annie), got everybody aboard the Lorelai Lee, and set sail for England. Grandfather would surely be thrilled to have me married at last. Oh, Grandfather. I love you but I hate to ruin your hopes that a wedding will cure me of my wild ways.
But the winds died and here we are, in the same section of ocean we’ve occupied for the past few days. Damn. I’m so ready to be married. Jaimy isn’t taking the delay well, either. If I’m twitchy, he’s about ready to jump ship and start swimming for England. I’m a captain, for God’s sake! You’d think I would be able to find a way to get us across this ocean. If I did that, Jaimy and I could get married.
That’s right, I’m a captain. And captains have certain legal powers, even if I’m not part of the Royal Navy. Hmm… It’s not how I dreamed of being married, but what the hell. Best to do this before some other disaster pulls Jaimy and me apart. And it’s not like we have anything better to do.
“All the crew are to assemble on the quarterdeck immediately!” I yell and am rewarded with the sound of pounding feet.
A wedding ceremony can be very brief if you wish. It feels a bit odd to be marrying myself to Jaimy but I don’t care. It’s not long before I’m saying, “Do you, James Emerson Fletcher, take me, Jacky Faber, to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
“I do,” he says and oh, how wonderful it is to hear those words at last.
Now it’s my turn. “And I, Jacky Faber, take you, James Emerson Fletcher, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”
For a moment there is no sound but the lapping of water against the sides of the ship. I grin and bounce on my toes. “Well Jaimy, you can kiss me if you love me.”
And he does.
Title: The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth
Fandoms: Bloody Jack, Labyrinth
Summary: Five times Jacky and Jaimy didn’t get married, and one time they did.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters from Bloody Jack; if I did, Jacky and Jaimy would be married by now.
One
It’s finally happening: Jaimy and I are finally getting married. It certainly took long enough. But it was worth all the trouble to be standing here with Jaimy’s hand in mine, surrounded by all of our friends and family. (Except for Jaimy’s mother—he had refused to let her in the church, convinced she would somehow ruin things. Can’t say I blame him.) Even Amy left her beloved Boston and traveled across the Atlantic to be here. Thank you, sister.
Grandfather is officiating and I’ve never seen such a great smile on his face. I think part of it is relief that I’m participating in a respectable ceremony for once.
As I stand here and look at Jaimy, I’m starting to become anxious for the ceremony to end. Hey Jaimy, I once thought we should strip me and play “count the scars” after we were married. Think that still sounds like fun? I know you have a few scars of your own by now, too.
We’re getting near the end now. Grandfather says, “If any man knows of a reason why this union should not take place, speak now or forever hold your peace.”
At these words, there is a shuffling of feet and a rising commotion among the guests. When I turn around I see:
Randall Trevelyne, Joseph Jared, Robin Raeburne, Jean-Paul de Valdon, Flaco Jimenez, Richard Allen, and Cheng Shih all standing in a row.
“We object!”
Oh…my…God.
Two
Jaimy isn’t here. I’ve been waiting in the church for over an hour but he still hasn’t arrived. Where could he be? I know I’ve jumped to conclusions about Jaimy’s feelings and actions in the past, but now I am completely certain that he would never abandon me.
I’m about to leave the church and search every inch of London for him myself when a messenger hardly more than a boy enters and doffs his hat. He looks nervous as the eyes of everyone present turn upon him. “Pardon, miss. A gent said this was for you.”
He hands me a sheet of expensive-looking paper that is elaborately folded. I break open the wax seal and read.
Dear Bloody Jack,
So sorry to ruin your wedding day but I have your Mr. Fletcher in my possession and there are certain conditions that must be met. He shall meet with certain doom unless you bring three thousand pounds, a sword, and a rooster to the Tower of London by midnight tonight. You will receive further instructions upon arrival.
Your devoted servant, etc.
The Blue Bandit
What the hell? The ransom demand is written with bright blue ink in the most flowery penmanship I have ever seen. And considering my time spent at the Lawson Peabody, that’s saying something. I mentally run through the long list of people who want to wring my scrawny neck but I can’t think of anybody called the “Blue Bandit.” He doesn’t sound familiar from any of the recent broadsides, either.
The demands are so ridiculous! I can understand needing a weapon and money, but why in the world desire a rooster? It could be a trap. Still, this person has threatened Jaimy’s safety.
I feel for the shiv in my sleeve and raise my voice. “Higgins! We have a groom to rescue!”
Three
Goblin City
The Castle at the Center of the Labyrinth
1 April 1810
Dear Jaimy,
It grieves me to say that I will not be able to attend our wedding today. As much as I regret this news, please know that it is not my fault this time.
I know you will be inclined to lay this interference at the feet of the Intelligence Service and I do not blame you, for were our positions reversed I would think the same. They have certainly been bothersome in the past. However, I must inform you that the circumstances are far stranger.
I was on my own for a brief time while preparing for the ceremony. Oh Jaimy, I was so happy. I foolishly thought our troubles were over and I was making plans for the future as I readied my dress. There was a knock at the door and I answered it, expecting Mairead. But it was your mother.
Jaimy, she was steaming mad. I was surprised not to see all her hair standing on end like a cat that has just had a pitcher of water dumped over it. I told her to be gone and started to shut the door in her face. Before I succeeded however, she shouted something about wishes and goblins and I don’t know what else. The next thing I knew my room had vanished or rather, I appear to have vanished from my room.
As unlikely as it seems, your mother appears to have learned some sort of spell. I am currently trapped in a castle located in the middle of some sort of labyrinth, with a very strange person who calls himself the Goblin King.
I have been permitted to write this letter to you, although the Goblin King is peering over my shoulder and making all sorts of insulting remarks the whole time. If you would have the goodness to come for me Jaimy, I would be forever grateful. You will be transported to the labyrinth upon finishing this letter. Once there, you will have to make your way through the maze to the castle at its center. If you do that we will be permitted to leave. One final detail: if you do not accomplish this task within thirteen hours I will be turned into a small, smelly creature called a goblin. And as much as you love me, I do not think you would be willing to marry a goblin.
All my love and hopes,
Jacky
Four
Jaimy and I are racing side-by-side on horseback. How I wish we were aboard my beloved Lorelai Lee, or even the Morning Star. Nobody can catch Jacky Faber on water. On land, it’s a slightly different story.
“Why does this sort of thing always have to happen?” Jaimy asks as the horses pound along. I’m not sure whether he’s complaining to God or myself. After a moment, he continues talking. “Did you really have to set that church on fire?” That answers that question: he’s complaining to me.
“I didn’t do it on purpose!” The veil pinned to my hair slips and I barely avoid tangling it in the reins. Over the sound of our horses’ hooves, I can hear other riders in the distance. They won’t catch us if I have anything to say about it.
“As far as I have been able to tell, you never ‘do it’ on purpose.”
Jaimy and I had been traveling to Boston and stopped for refreshment in a town that, although nicer than the ones we had seen on our frontier journey, was still somewhat small. We had been talking about getting married as soon as we reached Boston and, well, we saw a church when we left the tavern. The reverend was standing outside, sweeping the front steps. I looked at Jaimy, he looked at me, and that was that.
The church was made of wood. Just before the reverend could finish the ceremony, I tripped on the hem of my dress. A brace of lit candles stood next to me, and that was that.
I sighed. “Just keep riding.”
Five
“What happened?” I asked.
“The colonies happened,” Jaimy says sourly. “I still can’t figure out why but every single time I come to this godforsaken country, something horrible happens.”
I start to lean against the wall, then remember what I’m wearing and stand upright. Can’t get my nice wedding dress dirty, after all. I would never hear the end of it from both Higgins and Mistress. “It’s not that bad a place.”
“The first time we were here, we were separated and you were put into that school against both our will.”
“True,” I agree, “but that worked out all right in the end.”
“The next time, I was signed onto a war ship, once more against my will, after you had been arrested.”
“And I’m really sorry about that Jaimy, but—“
“After which I was robbed, beaten, left for dead, in the company of Mike Fink for an extended amount of time, sentenced to forced labor in a quarry, and that’s before I even reached the damned Mississippi!”
“Very well, you hate America,” I say. “But we’ve had some good times and we don’t have to live here permanently.”
One of his eyebrows twitches. “Just get me out of here.”
Poor Jaimy. I reach through the bars and squeeze his hand. “Try to behave while I see Ezra about a bribe. If we’re very lucky, the reverend might still be waiting when you get out.”
I’m pondering whether I could simply bring the reverend to the jail and get Jaimy out later, when a familiar voice says, “Get in there, you bunch of hussies!” and a number of brightly dressed women are forced into the room. Mrs. Bodeen must still be in business. I’d recognize her girls anywhere.
“Get in there, the lot of you!” Constable Wiggins shouts and starts herding them towards the cell Jaimy currently occupies. His eyes go wide. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, but nothing comes out.
“I know, I know, I’m off to get the bribe,” I say and give him a final peck on the cheek. I’m almost at the door when I hear one of the women say, “And who’s this handsome gent?” followed by a strangled noise from my long-suffering fiancé.
Sorry, Jaimy.
And one time they did
We are stuck in the middle of the Atlantic. The seas are becalmed and the ship does not move. I pace the deck impatiently. If I could, I would make the sails fill so that we could arrive in London and go to the nearest church, where Jaimy and I could finally be married.
Several months had passed calmly. It seemed as though the days of people trying to kill us, imprison us, send us on espionage missions (all right, that last one never happened to Jaimy) were over. So we assembled the crew (having some trouble dragging Davy away from my great good friend Annie), got everybody aboard the Lorelai Lee, and set sail for England. Grandfather would surely be thrilled to have me married at last. Oh, Grandfather. I love you but I hate to ruin your hopes that a wedding will cure me of my wild ways.
But the winds died and here we are, in the same section of ocean we’ve occupied for the past few days. Damn. I’m so ready to be married. Jaimy isn’t taking the delay well, either. If I’m twitchy, he’s about ready to jump ship and start swimming for England. I’m a captain, for God’s sake! You’d think I would be able to find a way to get us across this ocean. If I did that, Jaimy and I could get married.
That’s right, I’m a captain. And captains have certain legal powers, even if I’m not part of the Royal Navy. Hmm… It’s not how I dreamed of being married, but what the hell. Best to do this before some other disaster pulls Jaimy and me apart. And it’s not like we have anything better to do.
“All the crew are to assemble on the quarterdeck immediately!” I yell and am rewarded with the sound of pounding feet.
A wedding ceremony can be very brief if you wish. It feels a bit odd to be marrying myself to Jaimy but I don’t care. It’s not long before I’m saying, “Do you, James Emerson Fletcher, take me, Jacky Faber, to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
“I do,” he says and oh, how wonderful it is to hear those words at last.
Now it’s my turn. “And I, Jacky Faber, take you, James Emerson Fletcher, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”
For a moment there is no sound but the lapping of water against the sides of the ship. I grin and bounce on my toes. “Well Jaimy, you can kiss me if you love me.”
And he does.
