"Pins and Needles"
Dec. 4th, 2010 11:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amelia_petkovaOnly two more to go!
Title: Pins and Needles
Fandom: Golden Girls
Word Count: approx. 500
Genres: AU, humor
Summary: The Golden Girls are nurses in a hospital.
Author’s Notes: Written for the “other: hospitals” square on my![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
au_bingo card. It was originally supposed to be a Tuck Everlasting AU but this ended up happening instead. Any errors in the duties of nurses in a real hospital are my own.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Golden Girls.
Rose: Pediatrics
“Back in St. Olaf, we had a special cure for chicken pox,” Rose said. She always enjoyed having an audience. “You picked your favorite chicken from the hen house and rubbed her against the spots until you got better. It stopped the itching, too. But then there was the year of the Great Chicken Plague, and half of them died in a week. The cure didn’t work when we used turkeys instead.”
The group of patients in the children’s ward with their broken bones and surgery recoveries stared at her.
“I’m allergic to poultry,” the oldest girl present finally said.
Blanche: ER Admissions
“Nurse Devereaux,” the junior nurse Celia Donovan said hesitantly, “should you really be flirting with the patients like that?”
Blanche winked at the man whose name she had just added to the waiting list. He grinned at her. “But darling, you meet the most interesting people in hospitals. A hospital schedule doesn’t leave much time for man-hunting outside of work. Did you see his hair?”
“But that looks like a bullet hole in his arm. Don’t you think he was maybe doing something wrong?”
“With looks like that, he can do something wrong to me as much as he wants.”
Dorothy: Surgeon’s Assistant
“All right Stan, it’s time to prep you for surgery.”
The bed that had held her infuriating, childish ex-husband was empty.
Dorothy sighed. “Damn it.”
Half an hour later, she found him hiding in a supply closet. “I don’t want to go!” he cried when she opened the door.
“Stan, you are just having your tonsils out. It is a simple procedure that all of our children went through when they were much younger than you. Now then, you can either get ready for the operation willingly, or we can do this the hard way.” She uncapped a hypodermic needle.
Sophia: Pharmacy
“Picture it: Sicily, 1938. In our town, the hospital was the doctor’s spare bedroom and everybody thought that ‘nurse’ was slang for the ladies working at the bar. We didn’t have all these colorful pills; in those days, the local wine was our medicine. It either killed you or cured you instantly.”
The patient looked at Nurse Petrillo like she might take flight at any moment. It was the matter-of-fact tone that was most frightening. “Could I just have my prescription filled?”
Sophia examined the doctor’s note. “Codine, huh? You’ll like that one—the pills are a real pretty color.”
End of the Shift
Rose sighed as she joined her friends at the diner. “I’m beat. How was everybody else’s day?”
“I met the most charming man,” Blanche said. “But the police showed up and took him into custody before I could get his phone number.”
Dorothy rolled her eyes. “I had to deal with Stan and he was an ass. What else is new?”
“Let me know if you want him taken care of, Pussycat,” Sophia said. “We have so many tiny pills, the doctors would never miss one or two.”
“I think this calls for cheesecake,” Blanche said. She signaled the waiter.
Title: Pins and Needles
Fandom: Golden Girls
Word Count: approx. 500
Genres: AU, humor
Summary: The Golden Girls are nurses in a hospital.
Author’s Notes: Written for the “other: hospitals” square on my
au_bingo card. It was originally supposed to be a Tuck Everlasting AU but this ended up happening instead. Any errors in the duties of nurses in a real hospital are my own.Disclaimer: I don’t own Golden Girls.
Rose: Pediatrics
“Back in St. Olaf, we had a special cure for chicken pox,” Rose said. She always enjoyed having an audience. “You picked your favorite chicken from the hen house and rubbed her against the spots until you got better. It stopped the itching, too. But then there was the year of the Great Chicken Plague, and half of them died in a week. The cure didn’t work when we used turkeys instead.”
The group of patients in the children’s ward with their broken bones and surgery recoveries stared at her.
“I’m allergic to poultry,” the oldest girl present finally said.
Blanche: ER Admissions
“Nurse Devereaux,” the junior nurse Celia Donovan said hesitantly, “should you really be flirting with the patients like that?”
Blanche winked at the man whose name she had just added to the waiting list. He grinned at her. “But darling, you meet the most interesting people in hospitals. A hospital schedule doesn’t leave much time for man-hunting outside of work. Did you see his hair?”
“But that looks like a bullet hole in his arm. Don’t you think he was maybe doing something wrong?”
“With looks like that, he can do something wrong to me as much as he wants.”
Dorothy: Surgeon’s Assistant
“All right Stan, it’s time to prep you for surgery.”
The bed that had held her infuriating, childish ex-husband was empty.
Dorothy sighed. “Damn it.”
Half an hour later, she found him hiding in a supply closet. “I don’t want to go!” he cried when she opened the door.
“Stan, you are just having your tonsils out. It is a simple procedure that all of our children went through when they were much younger than you. Now then, you can either get ready for the operation willingly, or we can do this the hard way.” She uncapped a hypodermic needle.
Sophia: Pharmacy
“Picture it: Sicily, 1938. In our town, the hospital was the doctor’s spare bedroom and everybody thought that ‘nurse’ was slang for the ladies working at the bar. We didn’t have all these colorful pills; in those days, the local wine was our medicine. It either killed you or cured you instantly.”
The patient looked at Nurse Petrillo like she might take flight at any moment. It was the matter-of-fact tone that was most frightening. “Could I just have my prescription filled?”
Sophia examined the doctor’s note. “Codine, huh? You’ll like that one—the pills are a real pretty color.”
End of the Shift
Rose sighed as she joined her friends at the diner. “I’m beat. How was everybody else’s day?”
“I met the most charming man,” Blanche said. “But the police showed up and took him into custody before I could get his phone number.”
Dorothy rolled her eyes. “I had to deal with Stan and he was an ass. What else is new?”
“Let me know if you want him taken care of, Pussycat,” Sophia said. “We have so many tiny pills, the doctors would never miss one or two.”
“I think this calls for cheesecake,” Blanche said. She signaled the waiter.
