goblin knitting

"An extremely dangerous and foolhardy exercise, goblin knitting is undertaken with only one knitting needle--but one that is barbed and has two razor-sharp edges to it. It takes two goblins to knit a scarf or a sweater and demands a remarkable degree of coordination and cooperation, which is, quite honestly, totally alien to goblin nature. Hence the knitting usually breaks down into a violent argument, and blood flows within a matter of one or two stitches. In fact, nowadays, the traditional preliminaries of carding and skeining the wool, discussing the knitting pattern and choosing a pretty colour, are usually dispensed with, and the knitters get straight down to the business of hacking each other to pieces."

--The Goblins of Labyrinth by Brian Froud and Terry Jones

Note to self: WRITE A STORY ABOUT THIS. I now have a mental image of a goblin knitting circle, complete with pastries, that turns into a bloody battle when they start arguing about which hand to carry the yarn in, and wool vs acrylic yarn.